Throughout life, individuals form numerous relationships, but family connections are arguably the most significant of all. Undoubtedly, our families and true friends serve as pillars of support during crucial moments. They provide a sense of security, offering a place to turn to when things go awry. After all, where else can one find greater trust than in the arms of those who have been present for a lifetime?
For this reason, opening up about one’s true self often requires a level of courage beyond the ordinary. I write this article with complete conviction, having personally experienced this journey, and I wish to share my story to inspire others to embrace their authentic selves without fear.
During my childhood, I struggled to grasp concepts that are now crystal clear in my life. A close friend, who is also gay, once shared that he never remembered feeling any attraction toward girls. The reality is, that we cannot predict the future with certainty. However, one thing remains true: embracing who we are is essential to our well-being.
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto
Coming out as homosexual—or more precisely, revealing one’s true identity to loved ones—is a profoundly challenging experience. When I say “challenging,” I do not mean impossible, but rather acknowledge the apprehension surrounding making the right decision. This fear is entirely natural and deeply human. Another undeniable reality is that the moment you disclose your sexuality to family and friends, you may suddenly be perceived as “different.”
Imagine the fear of sharing something so deeply personal, only to risk losing the support and respect that are so vital to our lives. I always tell my friends that those who genuinely care about us—true friends, not mere acquaintances, and real family, not “fauxmily” (a term I coined while writing this)—may be initially surprised, depending on the circumstances. However, if they truly value and love you, rest assured that in most cases, you will be met with acceptance.
Of course, not all experiences are met with immediate understanding. Even when family and friends deeply love someone, acceptance may take time. Each individual processes information differently, and patience is sometimes necessary. In my case, I made it clear to my loved ones that my sexual orientation changed nothing about me—I remained the same person, only now more transparent about who I truly am. #BeHappy
I was born this way, and I see no problem with it. On the contrary, I take pride in who I am. At 18 years old, in November 2017, I first came out to my friends, followed by my family a few months later. Each journey is unique, and the most important aspect is to embrace oneself without fear. Take your time, find the right moment, and never feel pressured by external forces or even by reading this article. Coming out should happen when you are ready, and trust me—that moment will come.
It is a universal experience among LGBTQ+ individuals to spend countless hours rehearsing how to disclose their sexuality to their parents and friends. My experience was no different. I often envisioned a future where I would share this aspect of myself with those who mattered most. Many endure periods of isolation, anxiety, and fear—especially in religious households or environments where knowledge about LGBTQ+ issues is limited.
Photo by Kampus Production
In reality, coming out is far from easy. During my youth (though things may have changed), educational institutions did not teach about homosexuality, and textbooks offered little to no guidance. If only there were an instruction manual for coming out… But in my personal opinion, embracing one’s true self is not just necessary—it is highly recommended.
For that reason, I chose to be open about my sexuality with my friends and family, making it clear that nothing about me had changed. I remained the same person, with the same smile, career, friendships, and family ties. However, I often emphasize that LGBTQ+ individuals experience countless “first times,” and each new encounter requires courage and clarity to educate others about who we are.
Another crucial point to highlight is that homosexuality is not a choice, contrary to what many believe. It is an inherent aspect of one’s identity, just as it was for me. Therefore, despite claims to the contrary, no one “turns gay” or “chooses” to be gay. The only real choice we have is whether to embrace or deny our true nature. This acceptance, while crucial to our happiness and well-being, is a complex process influenced by external factors.
Over time, I have come to recognize that many LGBTQ+ individuals grow up facing rejection and societal messages equating homosexuality with shame or inferiority. Some manage to overcome this stigma, while others struggle. Before judging someone for not coming out, consider the possibility that societal attitudes may be contributing to their hesitation. No one chooses to play a role they are not proud of—definitely not.
Interestingly, every day, people unknowingly interact with LGBTQ+ individuals, just as they do with me. Think about how often we meet incredible people with whom we connect and develop admiration or even friendships. Why, then, should discovering that someone is gay invalidate all their qualities? #FoodForThought
Finally, you may be wondering if my life changed after coming out. To answer simply: No, nothing changed. Since childhood, I have been selective with my friendships, and all my true friends reacted with support—some had already suspected, others expressed gratitude for my trust, and many admired my courage.
The same was true for my family. However, as I mentioned earlier, this is not the reality for everyone. The world is complex, and each person faces unique circumstances. That is why it is crucial to assess the right time and context before making such a significant decision. My advice? Follow your heart and believe in yourself. Your sexual orientation does not make you inferior or superior to anyone else—you are simply you. Keep moving forward! Stay positive, and I wish you all the best in the world! 😉
I hope this article has been helpful! Until the next post—feel free to share and leave your comments! 🙂
Photo by Nicholas Swatz
